A Need to Stay Strong
by summerrain95
Summary: Harry thinks he needs to stay strong for those who have suffered from this final battle.. So he forces himself to push his own pain aside and do so.. not realising that he himself has suffered just as much.
1. Chapter 1

**AN - Hi^^ This is my very first story ever… It takes place right after the epic battle of Hogwarts and I'm not really sure how far it will go. Maybe I'll just leave it as a one-shot if I don't get such a good response… or I don't know..?**

**Just try it and send me your thoughts on it**

**Disclaimer – I only own Harry Potter in my dreams and my world of wishes…**

Chapter 1

Harry was dreaming. His shallow breaths came in laboured gasps and his head turned from side to side with his eyes tightly closed in agitation.

He heard their voices taunting him, sending pangs of pain to his heart.

"_You killed us Harry. "_

"…_If only you had acted faster we would all be alive"_

"_Our son Harry... Now he has no one."_

"No… no Im sorry"

"_We thought you would never let this happen…"_

"No no I didn't mean to…"

"_You killed us Harry. "_

"_If only you had acted faster... been less cowardly"_

"_If only, Harry… It was you… You killed us all…"_

"Please! No!"

Harry's eyes flew open in panic. For a moment his vision blurred and he was unable to take in his surroundings. He sat up as his hands groped for his wand while he looked around madly. They found his glasses instead and he hurriedly put them on. Only then did he realise that he was alone in the Gryffindor dorm. He gave out a sigh of relief, trying to slow down his painful breathing.

The memories of what had happened flooded back all at once, hitting him from all directions. Harry helplessly closed his eyes in effort of blocking the images that came in his mind.

_Voldemort dead, Snape releasing his memories to him, Hogwarts broken and battered, Ravenclaw's diadem in the burning Room of Requirement, Remus and Tonks lying beside each other with unseeing eyes, Hermione desperately holding Ron who was leaning and howling over…. –_

"Harry?"

Harry opened his eyes to see Hermione coming towards him. She looked concerned and exhausted.

"Harry I just came to check if Ron was… Harry you look awful have you slept at all?"

Harry only looked at her and started to become aware of how his muscles ached all over his body. He had a pulsing headache and his chest felt as though he had a gaping wound and it hurt him to breathe.

Hermione saw such pain in his eyes. He was shaking and his hands were clenching at his sheets. He was breathing in too shallow and rapidly as if trying to recover from hours of sprinting but only able to use half his lungs. She walked towards his bed and sat beside him, worried. She had been trying to find Ron.

It had only been a few hours back when they were walking out of Dumbledore's office. Ron mentioned about going to his family and made his way to the Great Hall. Hermione and Harry followed until when they reached the staircase leading them down. Hermione turned and saw Harry lagging behind. He had looked dead on his feet.

She then had him escorted instead back to Gryffindor tower, telling him she would explain to Ron and promising to wake him up later.

It had only been a few hours… and yet he was already awake... or still unable to fall asleep.

"I'm ok, Hermione," Harry said with the best smile he could manage, "You really don't have to look at me like that."

He gave a small chuckle in effort to prove his point then coughed suddenly, wincing.

"Harry, you're not alright and it's no use trying to convince me otherwise. You should go back to sleep. You need rest after all you've done," said Hermione rubbing his back trying to ease his cough while Harry gasped trying to get his breath back.

Harry looked down, eyes watering in pain and the sudden lack of oxygen. "After all he's done?" He did nothing but getting people killed because he couldn't act fast enough to give himself up before! The thought of going back to sleep made him shiver with fear of hearing more voices haunting him.

"So where's Ron?" he asked instead.

"I wanted to just check if he was here. He's not with his family. George is missing too"

Harry's stomach gave a lurch. He felt like he was going be sick with guilt and he rapidly gulped against it.

"I'll help you find him"

"Harry I think you should rest. Just try get some sleep and I'll come back for you after so we can take you up to Madame Pomphrey to get a check done. You need to-"

"No, Hermione. All I need is to get out of here." He said sharply.

"Harry but-"

"Please Hermione," Harry said desperately.

Hermione reluctantly sighed and helped him up. Harry gulped a few times to ease the urge to be sick again and ignored the screaming pain in his head and chest while getting out of his bed he had hardly slept in. He swayed from the pain while black spots appeared before his eyes.

Hermione moved to quickly support him sighing in regret for letting him get his way.

For a moment he considered sitting back down and listening to Hermione's advice. But the image of Fred and his family appeared in his head and took over his mind.

"_I wanted to just check if he was here. He's not with his family. George is missing too"_

He thought of Ron and George… and Ginny… With effort, he carefully arranged his face so that it stopped betraying his will to cover up the pain.

Out of all people he couldn't.. _Shouldn't_ be the one expressing his pains.. He didn't deserve to show pain right now while others had so much more lost because of him. His physical pain would be nothing compared to the real pain that actually mattered most of people like the Weasley family.

But… he also felt their pain… to Harry… he had also lost a brother tonight and so many more. Would it be so wrong for him to be able to grieve together with them?

With disgust he regretfully pushed this thought and the pain aside in his head as best as he could. He had to remain strong for them. He had to remain strong so that they could relieve their grief and pain on him. He needed to be strong to be able to not crumble if they ever turned to their needs to openly blame him for what had happened.

After all… It was all that that he could do after what he had done.. All that was left for him to do… to help them heal over their pains that he had caused.

With a shaky, painful breath, he broke free from Hermione's arms and walked to the door to help her find Ron and George.


	2. Chapter 2

**So here is chapter two **

**Happy reading~**

Chapter 2

They walked down the corridor steps from their tower. The pain in Harry's chest worsened with every step he took. He kept his breath shallow enough to stop the pain and fast enough to keep from suffocating. Hermione didn't notice this. She was too caught up in her own grief and distress. Harry knew that if it wasn't for her distraction, she would be knocking him out and dragging him back into his bed and wished she wouldn't pay attention on him until they found Ron. He let her lead the way and followed her from behind. His head and shoulders felt so heavy and his surroundings kept tipping slightly from side to side as he walked but he knew better than to tell this to Hermione.

He barely heard Hermione through the blood-pounding of his ears,

"Harry? Harry I think I see them down there near Hagrid's," she said looking outside one of the windows.

She turned and silently lead him on.

* * *

><p>Harry really wished he had remembered to bring his invisibility cloak with him as he quickened his pace near the Great Hall. Cries of loss and devastation started ringing in his ears from the two corridors before. He didn't want to see nor hear any of it. He didn't think he could handle the guilt all at once with so many people… even though he had promised himself to be strong for them merely moments ago.<p>

He tried to pass the hall as fast as he could until he saw the bodies…

The bodies were being moved with white cloth draped over many of them. They were all too still and silent, unable to shout in regret or pain for their loss of their own lives.

Harry felt his legs weaken. He concentrated hard on putting each foot forward. He needed to get out of here. He desperately swallowed the bile building up once again against his throat. His physical pains in his chest and head had been replaced with yet another, different pain that pierced through his heart and overpower all other pains that were already too much.

He didn't know how to walk past this mess. He felt trapped and unable to move on… He was being cornered and suffocated by his guilt.

"Harry?"

Hermione's voice seemed very distant as he looked up to find her worried eyes. His head pounded in his new distress from the sounds he heard from the broken families. He realized he stood rooted to the spot with his breath held. He couldn't trust it enough to let go as he most probably would lose control.

Hermione approached him.

She wanted to get them away from the proofs of horror and pain the battle had caused them as soon they could. It was all too soon for her… and obviously for him too, she realized as she took him in once again. He looked awful. His eyes showed exhaustion filled with emotions she could never translate into words. Her thoughts immediately went to the option of taking him – no… _forcing_ him - back to rest at Gryffindor tower.

She placed a careful hand on his arm but before she could say anything, Harry shook his head and stepped away from her touch.

Hermione frowned in worry. She watched as Harry took slow, silent gasps of air that were met with small winces of pain, stopped in mid-breath and let out again.

It was all very difficult to see, but Hermione had learnt in all their years together to recognize when Harry was in pain. He never showed it. No matter how serious his injuries were, he always answered with "I'm fine" when asked how he felt.

Suddenly, a voice screamed from the direction of the hall,

"There he is!"

A woman, looking half demented, stumbled her way to Harry with a threatening finger pointing his direction, shortly followed by a shocked-looking man.

"So _you_ were the boy he admired so much, hah?" the woman cried, shaking in her anger.

Harry found he could not control his body. He suddenly couldn't lift his feet from where they were rooted to the ground and his body became stiff with panic and fear of what he heard and saw coming his way.

"Did you even care to know he wasn't even of age? Did you even think to _stop_ him from trying to help _you_ and throw himself in a battle full of death eaters! Did you? Did you even take notice of him at all, Harry Potter! Well, OBVIOUSLY YOU DIDN'T! _You_ didn't even _KNOW_ DID YOU! DIDN'T EVEN CARE ENOUGH TO KNOW HE WAS STILL HERE! DIDN'T EVEN TRY STOP HIM!"

The woman was now being held back by the man behind who was furiously talking to her, trying to calm her.

"NO! My baby is _dead_! MY _SON_! YOU HEAR ME?" She cried, tears flowing continuously down her cheeks while she struggled against his hold.

Pain engulfed Harry as Collin's mother threw herself down at his feat in loud, shattered cries for her son. He wanted so much to help… At least do something to show her how much he was sorry…

But all he could do was hang his head low and let the weight of his shoulders weigh down heavier on him. He gulped down his will to break down and imitate the woman before him.

He would have to work harder to be stronger. This was only his first person turning rightfully to him to blame and he already found it pushing beyond his limits.

Hermione watched helplessly, unable to say anything in fear of upsetting the woman further and causing her to use her wand on Harry. She slid her hand protectively around Harry's arm but he didn't seem to notice as he stood there next to her looking as if thousands of dementors were feeding on what was left of him all at once.

Hermione took in a deep breath and pulled Harry forward, away from the things that were never his fault to blame.

**Let me know what you think so that I feel the spark to keep writing!**

**I'm so full of more ideas for this and I would like to get it out there but I can't help but lose the inspiration to keep going if no one shows interest in it X);;; I work on encouragement which is what I get from kind, interested souls ;D**


	3. Chapter 3

**And here is Chapter 3! Thanks for your reviews and hope you enjoy.  
>This one's a bit emotional.<strong>

Chapter 3

She pulled him all the way out to the grounds before releasing him. Harry followed without being aware of where she was taking him. His mind still lingered back with what just happened.

Together they both neared two familiar, ginger-headed figures near a stone boulder before Hagrid's hut.

Ron had been at this for a while now. He crouched in front of Fred's identical living form that sat against the big stone, unable to say anything.

George looked broken and lost as he watched his younger brother trying to find the words to get him back, away from his mind trapped with memories of Fred. He just stared motionless and almost oblivious at Ron's obvious struggle. He felt no emotions anymore. Every feeling and dreams he had had, just evaporated out of him in the last few hours without him getting a chance to stop them.  
>Just like Fred…<p>

"George – d-don't block the rest of us out… We… we need you. I know it's hard, especially for you. But… we just can't lose you from this as well."

Ron's voice was tired. He didn't know what to do anymore.

George stared at him blankly and it scared him. He knew George was taking the death the worst. He knew that his other brother need his time but… he was just so afraid he would do something stupid if he wasn't with him.

"George, y-you know this isn't your fault right? It's not your fault that Fr-"

But before Ron could finish, George bolted up and ran. He ran before the name left Ron's lips and Ron was left alone, looking as if he had just caused his other twin brother his death.

Hermione and Harry watched from afar, not wanting to intrude. Hermione walked towards Ron when she noticed his gaze fall hopelessly from the direction where George had run off down to the ground, looking broken. Harry followed her, not knowing what to do with himself. He felt as if he had transformed into living guilt, walking toward people whose lives had been contaminated with grief and unimaginable sorrow by the only source that had caused it : him.

He wearily approached his best friend, thinking of the reactions from Collin's mother.

Ron looked up as he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He hadn't noticed Hermione coming. He looked in her deeply sad brown eyes and gave a small sigh, unable to conjure up that smile that he promised himself to show whenever she looked his way.

"He just needs time, Ron. It's not your fault," Hermione insisted.

"Yeah I know. Just thought he might-" Ron's voice grew tight as he turned away from her to hide the wetness of his eyes that threatened to spill.

Seeing this, Harry closed his distance with Ron, uncaring to what he might do to him. He wanted to tell him how sorry he was. He wanted to tell him that he would do anything to change things and that he never wanted any of it to happen. He ignored the searing pains in his body as he bent down on his knees next to Ron and pulled him in a sudden hug. He tensed as he anticipated another shouting round or even a blow across his face as he did so. He knew this would only be right after what Ron had just lost and had to go through for the rest of his life because of him.

Ron tried to get control over a sudden swell inside his throat when he suddenly felt arms around him. The arms tightened around him as their owner shook rather violently. He looked up and saw Hermione looking back at him from where she sat with tears filling her eyes.

He began to recognize the embrace to be Harry's. He had worried about his friend when he heard from Hermione that he had gone back up to the Tower to rest. It had only been a few hours ago and he wasn't expecting him to show up until at least the next day after all he had been through. He let Harry's hug comfort him. It reminded him that he was still alive… unlike when he saw him before, coming out of the forest in Hagrid's arms. He welcomed the reminder that his best friend was there to share more memories with him in the future…  
>…unlike Fred was.<br>At this thought, Ron cracked. He was unable to keep his hold on his sadness that welled up in his eyes once again any longer as they overflowed. He gave up trying to hide them… and right there, in front of the only girl that he truly wanted to hide from letting her see him like this… He began to sob desperately.

Ron howled in Harry's shoulder and locked him in the embrace with his own shaking arms that surrounded him, holding onto him like a lifeline.

Harry was shocked by this. He felt Ron shaking and sobbing under his other's hold. He was grateful as he realised that his best mate would not shout or hit him, but felt pain beyond his own understanding while he felt Ron break down before him. He knew that Ron's howling of despair was yet another thing that had to be added to a very long list of the results of his faults.

Harry reminded himself that he needed to be strong. He was also painfully reminded that he had failed his first attempt just now and was determined to live up to his inner promise this second time round. He forced himself to hold back his own emotions and he placed soft, rhythmic pats on Ron's shaking back. Ron's cries and sobs reached his insides as knives that slit through everything else.

Harry closed his eyes in effort to keep his tears at bay and kept swallowing the choking lump that formed every time he heard Ron taking a rattling breath for more cries of pain that filled his ears and every time he thought he couldn't handle it any longer. He desperately kept at this until a long while after Ron's tears came no more and his cries became merely gasps of breath trying to even out his breathing again.

"Come on Ron, let's get you back up to the castle," said Hermione with a quiet, raspy whisper, she too had been crying as she saw with her own eyes, what her two best friends had to go through even after all the difficult times they've had to pull through.

The sky was darkening as the sun slowly went down indicating the end to another long day.  
>Ron slowly pulled away from Harry's arms as he wiped his sleeves across his eyes and nose as he sniffed loudly. He looked up at Harry, trying to smile. He was disturbed to see that Harry was ghostly pale. It was as if someone had cast a permanent silencing charm over him. No sound escaped his mouth that was shut tight as if someone had threatened to kill him if he ever did otherwise. His green eyes were pained and surrounded by dark circles.<br>Had he even been to the tower to rest like Hermione had said moments ago? Ron could not help but wonder whether Harry would _ever_ get any rest that he, out of all people, deserved so much and needed so badly.

The three stood slowly and headed silently back up towards the castle, just as the sky began to drop tears of its own.


	4. Chapter 4

**Just want to thank my reviewers for all your interest that you have shown me^^**

**Really makes my day, thank you!**

**So, normally I wouldn't post up two chapters in a day but just because I'm all hyped up about your reviews... See how they work on me?**

**The more I get, the more I wanna upload!**

**without further ado~ here is chapter four!**

Chapter 4

The sky rumbled as it poured down with rain.

The three walked, caught up in their own thoughts.

Harry felt his brain go fuzzy and his breaths returned to shallow intakes of air as a result of his burning chest. It took everything he had left in him to stop a moan escape from him. He was sure that if he couldn't get himself back inside fast enough, he would most definitely pass out from the pain and lack of oxygen. His head continued to pound as he stumbled on behind Ron and Hermione.

His gaze stayed on the ground as he watched the rain pour down on Hogwart's courtyard. Harry suddenly noticed a shade of red in the streams of rain as his eyes followed ahead and saw what made him nearly black out in horror.

He saw blood being washed down from a mass near him on the ground to his right. It was hard to notice at first glance but he recognised Lavendar's long locks soaked with blood on her head along with her crumpled body that was being soaked with rain. He couldn't see her face. She was laid on her side with her back to him, much too still.

Harry stopped, unable to control his feet. He saw as two other people from the castle hurried towards her body, shouting things to each other that he couldn't hear through the rain and the new ringing in his ears. They took her and lifted her up on a conjured stretcher and disappeared with her into the side entrance to the hall.

Harry felt his stomach walls repulse violently as he rapidly swallowed and clutched at it, trying to calm it down. His breathing stopped entirely from the pain that his chest caused when he did this. He sunk to his knees and let one hand fall to support him as he kept the other tightly around his stomach, his legs were unable to support him any longer as he tore his gaze away from the blood that continued to flow down with the heavy rain. Harry shut his eyes, wanting to block out what he had just seen and would never forget.

He felt arms surrounding him just as he unintentionally let out a pained gasp and groaned in effort to fight his nausea. His face lost its mask, revealing his agony that hid behind it.

Ron looked worriedly at Hermione as he tried to support Harry on the ground. Harry looked like he was going to be violently sick in any moment and his face looked as if he was straining against a silent torture curse with his eyes tightly shut. Ron gripped Harry's shoulders tighter as he gasped for breath and suddenly coughed and threw up the small amount of what his stomach had held. He pulled him back against his chest before Harry could collapse forward in his own sick. Hermione was rubbing his back, trying to soothe him.

Harry's shoulders shook as he let slip a rasping cry, his hand was pressing down into his chest. Ron needed to get them out of the rain.

"Okay, it's ok just try to stay awake."

He watched Hermione vanish Harry's mess and then tried pulling Harry up with him with an arm around his front. Harry's breathing hitched when he did this. He leaned his face into Ron's shoulder in pain.

Ron's eyes widened in panic as he quickly brought Harry back down to the ground and slightly released his hold, afraid that he was causing him more pain. He heard Harry's short, struggled moans that were stiffled against his shirt and felt as his body shook uncontrollably in his arms.

"Ron, we've got to get him to Hospital wing! He-!" Hermione started but stopped as Harry suddenly grabbed her arm shaking his head violently.

As soon as Harry heard Hermione saying the words "Hospital Wing" he needed to protest. He knew he had to get a grip on himself and he forced himself to draw a deep breath. This only resulted in another desperate coughing fit as he kept his grip on Hermione's arm, making sure she wouldn't run off to call anyone that had anything to do with the hospital wing. He was desperate for more air.

It wasn't after quite a while before Harry could control his breathing again. Ron moved his hands gently back up to both his shoulders and watched him, frightened.

"Harry we need to get you inside. Do you think you could get up-" Hermione began again.

"N-no, Hermione. I don't need the Hospital Wing," Harry answered her, his eyes on the ground again. He was absolutely exhausted from this. He so wished he could just lie on the wet grounds where he sat…. just close his eyes and go to sleep… never to be awoken again.

He felt like such a coward… A failure in his own words… A hopeless burden on his friends who already had so much to deal without him causing more worry.

"Harry but really, let's just go ins-" Hermione persisted

"No I don't want-"

"Harry, you can't just stay here! At least let us take you to Madam-"

"_Please_ Hermione just- I'm _fine_ ok? Please…" Harry looked at Ron in absolute desperation. He didn't need this right now – _They_ didn't need this right now. Didn't they _understand_? He couldn't believe he let himself lose control in front of them when he swore he would be strong for them all. Now he was just becoming another problem for them to have to stress about.

Ron saw Harry look to him for support which is exactly what he wanted to give his friend whenever he could – but he wasn't sure if it would be the right thing in this given situation. It was clear that Harry needed some help. He must be in a hell lot of pain… Ron had never seen him so out of control like this, even when his scar had given him the worst.

He knew that dying couldn't have left his friend perfectly fine… and he still found himself disturbed at the idea of how Harry was obviously trying to hide these things from them. He couldn't understand what made him always be so secretive about his problems and pains. They had known each other since his first day on the train. Shouldn't Harry already be aware that his two best friends were now more than _just able_ to sense the slightest of problems that he had? But still he seemed to somehow feel the obligation to hide it from them, the problems and emotions he had upon him at any situation.

The rain began pounding down in earnest now. Ron looked at his drenched friends as he realised for the first time how cold he felt. His body was slowly becoming numb from the cold water that soaked up his clothes.

"Ron, we need to get ourselves inside," Hermione demanded wildly, looking truly panicked now.

"Alright, Harry. I'm going to help you up.. Just hold on to me.." Ron said as he took Harry's arm and attempted to put it around his own neck when Harry began to push him away furiously.

"Ron no! You don't need to take me to Madame Pomphrey! I'm really fine! Please just listen to me-" Harry pushed himself away from Ron's hold and fell back on his hands, wincing as his sudden outburst of movement caused another searing pain in his chest. His head began to feel awfully heavy as he took panicked breaths.

In truth... apart from not wanting to become more of a burden to them… he genuinely wanted to avoid Hospital Wing for the rest of his stay here. He didn't want to go up and smell the what the medicinal potions left behind in the air. He didn't want to be forced under the white sheets of the beds there again… But most importantly – he didn't want to hear the pain or see the wounds that the battle had caused for so many others.

Just thinking of this, he began to feel his body tremble in fear and his stomach beginning to clench itself up in dread.

"Woah ok, alright Harry. We don't have to go see Pomphrey. No hospital wing, alright? It's ok, just relax and try to breathe, mate." Ron's concerned voice rang through his ears. "But really, Harry. We can't stay out here. We're gonna ge' soaked or possibly even drown if this keeps going."

Assured by this, Harry felt Ron's hold back on him and his arm swung around his neck. He made no attempts to push him away this time. He regretfully heard a relieved sigh from Ron and Hermione.

They continued their way up and made their to Gryffindor Tower with Hermione directing them, choosing the path that avoided the hall entirely on their way. Harry was thankful for that.

He was beginning to feel a familiar sensation of his insides being bottled up with the different kinds of pain he had faced that day. Everything was happening too vividly and in such full-blow.

He felt the urge to scream out the anger, pain, guilt and all the other emotions that were helplessly locked inside of him.

He felt he needed to set the emotions free but realised he didn't know how. Ever since he could remember, he was forced to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself. The Dursley's sure like it that way and made sure to threaten him with almost everything and anything they could think of, if he ever showed signs of wanting to rid of these feelings in their presence.

He was never able to open up to anyone else intentionally, not even with the smallest of things that were causing him hurt… He eventually lost the key or forgot the combination that would trigger the locked door of a certain place of his heart to open and reveal his pains. Once in a while the feelings became too much and overwhelming that it came crashing out of its cage in its own accord but these events were few.

**So please fill me in with your thoughts by sending more reviews that will fuel me up to get the next chapter up faster! ;) **


	5. Chapter 5

**So, unfortunately, I ended up getting the _least_ reviews in the last chapter which was ****– what I thought would be – the most exciting chapter of the whole story so far… :(**

**But hope you guys like this one better and let me know what you think… Remember how your reviews make my chapters come up faster, longer and with more happiness! ^^**

**Just a reminder that I don't own anything from Harry Potter... Only the glorious J.K. Rowling!**

Chapter 5

After what seemed like hours, they arrived at the tower. Hermione expertly did a drying charm on them that felt similar to what Harry had experienced when Dumbledore had taken him to Voldemort's cave last year. He vaguely remembered his old headmaster cast the same dry, warming spell after Harry had to swim across in the icy sea.

Harry made his way up to the dorm after telling the other two hastily that he was tired and was going to get some more sleep, not wanting to give them any more reasons to make him get any medical check-ups.

He lay, fully clothed, with his four-poster bed covered up from all sides. He knew he couldn't go back to sleep without being plunged back into his nightmares. Instead he lay carefully on his side to avoid the aching of his chest and muscles as much as he could, his eyes wide open.

After a while he heard Ron coming in from the door. He stayed silent and listened while Ron moved around the room, getting ready for bed.

_Where were the others?_ Harry wondered.

_What happened to Neville, Dean, Seamus… where were all the people that shared this dorm with him apart from Ron?_

He rather hoped that they had all returned home, not wanting to have to face them here again so soon… but then with another pang, he thought of the people who were busy moving the bodies-

He quickly tried to think of something else other than what his mind kept wanting him to remember… the body he saw in the courtyard…

He shut his eyes in effort to push the image away.

After a while he heard Ron's breathing even out in slumber as he himself began to fight his own fatigue that threatened to engulf him whole. His thoughts focused on Ron instead. He must be exhausted. Possibly more than he was… having to go through such a hard year because he insisted on sticking with him when he could have been with his family or friends here at Hogwarts.

Harry knew that his friends had also been through hell as well with the death eaters roaming the school… but at least Ron wouldn't have had to be so lonely or suffer from hunger if he had chosen not to follow. He would have also probably been able to spend more time with his brothers… including Fred.

He deliberately made his mind trail its way to Hermione. His breath nearly caught up and choked him as he thought of what _she_ had to go through for him. She had to erase her own _parents_ from her life to be with him through all of this. He couldn't even begin to imagine what she felt. _He _was always so desperate on having his parents back alive and hold onto _everything_ and _anything_ that was left of them close to him… while Hermione was prepared to let go and leave hers, not knowing if she would ever be able to see them again. All this just to help him complete a task that she wasn't the one responsible for.

His throat felt constricted as his vision became a watery blur. He blinked them away and felt the tears trailing down on the side on his face as he helplessly felt his heavy lids drop and he fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

><p>Ron awoke to the sound of familiar struggle. He had woken up a lot of times from this in the last few years, actually. He rubbed at his eyes as he identified the location of the noise to be in Harry's four-poster. He knew the struggle had to be Harry having another nightmare. He lay for another minute or two, wondering if it will wear off without him having to help - He also knew that Harry hated people knowing about his nightmares. He could always see the clear shame in Harry's eyes whenever he woke him up in a middle of a bad nightmare. He lay with his eyes wide open with his back to where Harry was and listened intently, anxious of what he should do. Then, he heard Harry gasp awake.<p>

Harry jerked awake. He was panting hard while tears filled his eyes from the effort from his chest. Sweat was pouring down from his forehead. He was so glad that he closed his four posters fully before he fell asleep last night. He quickly buried his face in his pillow as he tried to silence his loud and struggled breathing. He really hoped he hadn't woken Ron who needed his sleep. He wrapped his arm around his chest as the pain started coming back all over him. When it became harder to breathe in the pillow, he slowly raised himself up and out of the other side of the bed from Ron. He stopped to try steady himself as his world suddenly tipped over, making him sit back down and grip the side of his bed.

When he began to feel more-or-less steady, he got to his feet again and stumbled to the bathroom. He didn't even stop to find his glasses before he shut the door with a loud click of the lock.

He stood looking into the mirror with his hands clenched on either side of the sink. His breathing returned into its short intakes of air. His chest didn't feel any better either… maybe even worse. He felt absolutely horrid, shaken from his ongoing nightmares that deprived him of sleep. From what he could make out from his reflection without his glasses… he was a blurry mess. He looked so pale that he felt as though he was looking at his ghost form. He chuckled darkly at this thought, remembering the green light that filled his sight just two nights before. He noticed his jet-black hair stuck to his face with the sweat that formed on his forehead.

He really needed a shower, he decided.

He stepped in the shower, wanting to get over with it quickly. He felt exhausted and weak but he turned on the water, hoping that it would maybe wake him up.

Ron had heard Harry forcing his harsh breathing into silence, and seen him dragging himself into the bathroom on the other side of their dorm. He pretended to sleep. He waited, half expecting to hear Harry throw up again like yesterday. He just heard silence. He began to wonder if he should go and check on him when he suddenly heard the sound of the water running from the shower. He sighed and stayed in his bed until only few minutes later when he heard Harry getting out again.

Ron got up and picked up Harry's glasses.

Harry was startled when he saw Ron waiting right outside the bathroom door when he got out. He was wrapped in a snow-white towel from one of the racks in the bathroom. It had been a really short shower but it had also been a long time since he had felt this clean.

"Wanting these?" Ron said with a smirk, Harry's glasses dangling from his fingers and some clothes in his other hand.

"Yeah, thanks Ron," Harry replied with a weak smile as he took the things from him and went back inside to change.

"How're you feeling?" Ron carefully asked him when he came back out, eyeing him wearily.

Harry looked away, not knowing what to say. Just then, he was happy to be distracted by Hermione who entered the room.

"Morning, you two," she said with a smile. "Let's go down and see if there's breakfast. We all really need to eat some proper food."

Ron nodded at her in agreement and looked at Harry.

Harry didn't say anything. He felt queasy thinking about food and the last place he wanted to go apart from Hospital Wing was back in the Great Hall with all those people. He looked up at the two expectant faces.

"Why don't you two go. I don't really-… I just have something to do.. and I'm not so hungry really..," Harry told them, "maybe I'll ask Kreacher to bring something up for me later," he added seeing both their worried expressions. He _hated_ seeing them worried.

Hermione sighed and forcefully said, "Harry, either you come with us to eat breakfast on your own or we _stun_ you and take you with us to breakfast anyway. Your choice," then she added in a softer tone. "Look, I know you don't want to go to the hall after what happened." (Ron looked at her at this, confused), "We can go straight to the kitchens if you want but you really have to eat something alright? You haven't had anything to eat for far too long and I doubt you'll have enough energy to do _anything_ by the afternoon if not already."

"Hold on what do you mean, what about yesterday..?" Ron began, "Harry what hap-"

"Uh okay, yeah maybe you're right, Hermione. Let's go then," Harry interrupted, not wanting to explain about Mrs Creevey to Ron. He passed Ron and walked out through the door, pretending not to have heard him and not giving him the chance to question him about the incident again.

Hermione felt relieved as she watched Harry walk ahead out the door.

She turned to see Ron giving her a look.

"What Ron? Oh look, I know I sound like an annoying mother to him right now but – he really has hardly eaten _anything _since we were at your brother's place, not to mention that he hurled up everything that was left in him last night-"

"I know, Hermione. It's not you… It's just, Harry had another nightmare this morning. Sounded like it was a pretty nasty one but he doesn't know that I know. You know how he gets... What I'm trying to say is… He- he's always hiding the painful stuff from everyone and you know… He's got to let it out sometime right? It's got to be impossible for someone to stay _sane_ when they keep everything bottled up like that, right? And I mean it's not that because I have an emotional range of a – no well I mean… At least everyone in our family cries a lot or gets angry when- yeah well Harry _used_ to get really angry but now he's just-, "

Ron sighed and looked at Hermione in the eyes. "Am I making any sense to you, Hermione?

Hermione looked back and nodded at him, "I know, Ron. I know what you mean and I feel the same. I'm just scared to do anything.. I can see it too. He's obviously struggling with all this. But… I'm just scared that we might make it worse for him if we try help… We both know by now that Harry works differently from how we think. I can't even bring myself to make him go to get checked up. He's really got to get his chest looked up. I can see him in obvious pain every time he breathes, Ron. It's serious. But remember what happened yesterday when we tried to take him to Hospital Wing? …Maybe he just needs a little more time before he opens up to us. He really needs to do it sometime, I know.. But I don't think he really wants us to know about these things yet. We both know he's always been like that.. Always trying to hide his injuries, his pains in his scar… Remember how he cut us off for a while when Sirius died? Maybe we should just stay close to him until he needs us."

Ron nodded slowly, understanding what she meant.

"Well, they don't say you're the smartest witch of your age for nothing you know," he said with a grin, "you're bloody brilliant, Hermione." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before he hurriedly followed Harry downstairs, ears going pink.

**So let me know what you think! TELL me what you want! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A real big thanks to all your encouragement :)**

**I'm really new at this thing– my first story and all^^;;. Thanks to those who tried to guide me on some stuff I tend to get confused with – for example story ratings and also to the few really helpful and kind reviews telling me about a few mistakes that I would never have found out on my own.**

**Special thanks to those who have been following and reviewing my story almost every time a new chapter is up (*0*) You. Guys… are **_**every**_** kind of awesome! :D**

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><p><strong>I've decided to give Harry a very short break in his physical pains in this chap. I think he deserves a little time off, don't you? … it'll probably come crashing back to him in full force sometime later but… Well let me just let you get on with :<strong>

Chapter 6

They walked down to find Harry waiting for them. His eyes were distant in thought and his expression was blank.

"C'mon Harry. Ron was just getting ready and I had to find his toothbrush. You all set?"

Harry gave a nod. She smiled at him as she took both their arms and lead them all out the portrait-door.

As they passed down the first corridor, on their way to the fruit painting entrance to the kitchens, they saw Mrs. Weasley walking their way from the other end.

Harry felt his stomach drop as he saw her gaunt face. She looked so awful in grief that he wanted to hide from her before she found out he was in front of her. She looked up… Too late.

"Oh _Ron. There_ you are." She ran to her youngest son, grabbing him into a hug. "I've been looking all over for you…. for all of you." She released him and gave Harry a worried look before she added, "Harry dear, I need to tell you that Kingsley is looking for you... They are moving the bodies early tomorrow morning... We're just going to help get everything settled here and then we'll all go home, alright?" She tried to give them a reassuring smile but all they saw from her was sadness,

"and Ron, dear… just.. don't… don't worry about George. H-he will be alright.. just needs time. I know where he is so don't try look for him just yet. Your father thinks its best," Molly gave a rattling sigh as she brushed a fresh tear from her cheek with her hand and carried on, "well I better get going. I told your brothers I was just going up to wash up a bit…"

With this she shuffled away, opposite their direction.

The three stood in silence. Harry began to feel as though his guilt would drive him insane and then maybe, hopefully, erase all his memories of the last two days of his life. He felt Hermione pull him forward and obeyed in following without really thinking anymore. He looked at Ron to see that his best friend had turned his gaze down to the ground.

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><p>They were not welcomed with the usual, cheery crowd of elves. Instead there were only a few working. They immediately gathered round all the same, offering drinks and food. They made them sit and soon began to serve them with what they had made for breakfast that morning.<p>

But their faces were not happy. It looked, to Harry, as though they were just glad to have something to do.

"Where are all the others?" Hermione asked softly.

After some hesitation amongst them, one of the elves stepped forward to answer.

"Please excuse us, Miss. We are much shorted in numbers this morning as the rest has gone to help the injured of our kind from Hogwarts and bury our dead. But we does our best to serve the school and we works extra hard to get everything done."

With this he bowed low and backed away.

Hermione seemed speechless… she was only able to reply after a few moments of thought, "I'm sorry. We understand. Please don't force yourselves to overwork. We all understand what you are going through, we really do. Thank you for all you've done for us."

They seemed to take in what she said as they all bowed low and went back to doing their work.

Harry picked at his food. Ron seemed to be eating without knowing what he was putting in his mouth and Hermione concentrated on her food as though it were a particularly difficult problem that absolutely needed to be solved.

She looked up from chewing her toast and caught Harry pushing around his eggs, not taking a single bite. He felt her gaze on him and immediately grabbed his orange juice, chugging it down to prove that she didn't need to give him another talk about the importance of him eating.

He suddenly felt choked from the liquid that passed down his throat in forced speed. He put his glass down, quickly swallowing everything in his mouth before he spat his juice everywhere. He held back the urge to cough as he swallowed the last of the liquid. By reflex he turned his face to his side and began to hack out the air in his lungs loud and hard. He closed his eyes, his head becoming clouded and his chest feeling as though it was being torn open.

Ron began to thump him on the back next to him and Hermione stood from her chair. But before she could do anything, all the working elves surrounded Ron and Harry.

Harry felt a cold glass being pushed into his hands as he tried to gather back his breathing. He rubbed his chest, trying to soothe it before he drank the water that was given to him.

"Sir must drink this too," said a squeaky voice as he felt the water being taken from him and replaced by yet another glass.

He drank, not knowing what else to do.

He almost choked again with the terrible taste. _It's a potion,_ he realised.

"Wha- *cough cough* what is this stuff?" he asked, eyes watering.

"It stop the pain, sir," replied the elf.

_Which kind of pain _Harry wanted to ask but shut himself up.

He suddenly felt the pain in his chest and head subside instantly and his muscles relax. In fact, he barely had any feeling left in his body. His body felt as though it had gone into a very peculiar slumber, yet every part of his body seemed to still work just fine at his will. He even felt a little hungry. It felt as though he had swallowed some kind of anaesthetic, his body feeling almost entirely numb but with him being able to stay wide awake.

"The more in pain, the less one feels. Sir must be warned to be careful with sir's body. The potion only stills pain for few hours but does not heal at all. It stops wound in time, not letting it heal... Just makes it remember its healthiest time. Sir _must_ not make any injury worse just because sir can't feels it."

"Harry, how do you feel," Hermione asked, alarmed.

"Great, much better," Harry said slowly, "Thanks! Really…"

The elves bowed and they scampered back to work.

"Wow," said Harry, impressed, "I can hardly feel anything anymore!" He looked up and grinned at his two best friends. It was the first true smile he had managed in days.

Harry seemed like he was trying to make up for all the food that he had been unable to eat in the whole year he had spent chasing after horcruxes. Ron stared at him, amazed. Harry _never_ ate more than he did. Hermione tried to slow him down but gave up, not knowing when she would ever see him like this again after the potion loses its effect. She knew he would be back to how he was a few hours ago soon and couldn't find the heart to tell him off while he looked so much better than she had seen him from the day before.

After they finished up their meal, they thanked the elves and left the kitchen.

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><p>Harry set out to find Kingsley. Hermione and Ron followed, not wanting to leave him no matter how many times he tried to assure them on how much better he now felt. They found Kingsley in Dumbledore's office. The new headmistress of Hogwarts was not there.<p>

"Harry, Ron, Hermione.." Kingsley nodded at them in greeting, locking his eyes with each.

"Thanks for coming. Minervra is out helping in the hall at the moment. I hope you all got some rest?"

They nodded somewhat half-heartedly. Kingsley gave them a look of understanding before walking towards Harry.

"I'll make this as short as I possibly can. There are just a few matters that need to be discussed urgently. Firstly I need to thank you all for everything you have done this year. I've just been made the temporary Minister for Magic and I must say, you lot have made the job a lot easier for me than I imagine it would have been for the few ministers before me."

His eyes twinkled as he took in their glad smiles from this news.

"They should bloody well make you a permanent Minister if they know what's good for them," said Ron.

Kingsley gave his arm a friendly pat on the arm before continuing,

"The other things I need to discuss with you are not so pleasant, I'm afraid." He hesitated, then said, "I don't know if you've already heard but... the bodies are all being taken to their families tomorrow morning."

He saw all three faces fall before pressing on carefully. "Harry, I needed to know… about Voldemort's body.."

There was a long silence that none of the three could find it in themselves to fill. Harry didn't know what could be said. He knew what Kingsley needed to know.. but he didn't know himself.. He hadn't thought about this yet- nor did he _want_ to think about it.

Finally after a few minutes, Harry turned back to the new minister and asked, "To be honest, I hadn't thought about it. Do you have anything in mind of what I should do?"

"Well I did have a few options planned but also wanted to hear what you-"

"That's fine. Great, just do whatever you think is best. You don't have to ask me, Kingsley. I trust you. I just… don't really know what to do with it really. I'm sorry for not thinking it through before.." Harry said in a hurry to get off the subject.

"I understand, Harry. Thank you for trusting me and I'll take care of the matter, don't worry about it," replied Kingsley, getting the message.

Harry felt his relief taking over as he braced himself for the next thing that Kingsley needed from him. Kingsley had started with such a difficult matter that couldn't help but feel a bit nervous of what came for him next.

"The next thing is. I know it's hard for you all right now… but I want you to figure out what you'll be telling the press on what happened this year. You will have to say something to them sooner or later and I don't want you all to be caught with them off guard or unprepared. I want to leave the matter of what and how much you tell them entirely up to you three. I think you have all earned the right and respect to do so during the course of this year. I wish I could make this less difficult for you… Press can be a really exhausting thing to deal with in situations like these but this is the one area where I feel that I really can't be much help in. I unfortunately _don't_ have the power to stop the whole wizarding world from wanting to know what really happened." Kingsley gave them a small, apologetic smile.

The three nodded at this, understanding. They gave each other side-glances, communicating silently to each other that they would discuss this together later on.

"Right, and one more thing I just needed to ask you, Harry… for a while I want you to always have someone with you wherever you go. Try to stay indoors as much as possible and always keep your wand with you at all times. It's just for precaution against the few death eaters that have escaped from this battle and for a while, before we catch them again, you might still be in danger."

Harry wasn't pleased with this, but he nodded nevertheless, rather reluctantly.

Kingsley gave Ron and Hermione meaningful looks as they, again, nodded in agreement and understanding.

"I appreciate it. Now please go rest. You all need it. I will be contacting you again soon, Harry."

But before Kingsley could lead them out the office, Harry remembered a few things that he himself had also been meaning to discuss with Kingsley.

"Uh Kingsley, no Minister . Sorry." Harry looked back at Kingsley to only see him smile, shaking his head at this title. He carried on, "I just needed to ask you if you could maybe help us in getting us a portkey to Australia in a few days? Herm- … _we_ have something important to take care of there and I wanted to know if you could-"

"Of course, Harry. Just tell me when and from where you will be travelling from and I'll have it ready for you… Anything else?" Kingsley asked, warmly.

"Uh yeah.. Just.." Harry tried to think of what was bothering him so bad since Hermione had found him awake yesterday. He knew that there was something that he absolutely needed to do. He had been too distracted with everything that happened that day along with the pain he'd had to deal with up until this morning. The potion really did its job… He wandered who had made it….

Suddenly Harry remembered. He realised in horror, someone he had forgotten about all this time.

"Kingsley," he began, panicked. "Snape! He… He's innocent! He was on our side the whole time. We've got to make sure they know! He- he d-died in the battle and we need to- His body-" Harry spluttered this all out in a loud rush of words.

"Whoa okay, Harry… I don't know.. I haven't seen his body with the others that we found but just tell me if you know where he is now and you don't have to worry about him-"

"No." Harry replied.

Hermione and Ron both looked up at Harry, surprised at his sudden reaction.

"No it's ok. I'll- I must go get him. I know where he is and-" Harry wanted to hit himself hard. How could he have forgotten about the man that had done so much good, but had received so much hardship in return? All he did was fall in love with one woman for the longest of time. Even in death he had searched for her eyes and wanted it to be the last thing he ever saw.

He had seen her in Harry's eyes.

"Harry are you sure?" Kingsley's voice broke into Harry's thoughts. "Rather tell me where he is and I'll go get him taken care of…I don't think you should force yourself to-"

"Yes. Yes I have to- I…. I need to do this for him."

Harry looked at his feet as sadness and shock swept over his numb body. He was thankful, again, for the potion that the elves had given him that morning. He knew that he would have not been able to handle both the pains that his body would have been experiencing without it, along with all the unending stress that he felt thrust upon him.

He couldn't believe he had just _forgotten_ about Snape. He had nightmares about the last moments with him in the battle every time he closed his eyes, yet he had failed to remember that the old potions master was alone where they had left him without anyone looking for him nor caring where he went. He had no one left... No one left to grieve his death or to treat his absence with much importance. No one neither knew nor recognised the man for who he truly was or for what he had done and sacrificed for them all. Harry shivered to think of what state he would find Snape in after all this time. He didn't deserve it… any of it.

"I need to go. Thanks Kingsley…" Harry walked out of the office without another glance.

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><p><strong>Remember - your reviews feed my imagination and inspiration ;)<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Yay! I have finally editted my chapter 7! Been awfully busy lately :(**

**I hope you like how this is going!**

**Actually I didn't plan for this to be so long..;;; but I can't help the ideas from continuously springing up everytime a chapter gets a lot of interest from people 0**

**So~ enjoy!**

Chapter 7

Harry ran. He ran faster than he intended to with Hermione and Ron trying to catch up. He knew that Snape couldn't even tell him off for being late anymore… but he couldn't help but feel panic take over his legs. It was like he believed that if he could get there faster, he could take time back and stop death in its tracks from taking Snape away again.

He nearly tripped several times over the bumpy ground downhill to the whomping willow.

Hermione felt her heart lurch every time she saw Harry catch himself in a fall. She knew she shouldn't let him risk doing more damage on his body than there already was. Harry was obviously was not prepared to slow down for the sake of his health. The effects of the potion made him unaware of the fact that his body was far less than able to handle what he was doing. She sincerely hoped that he had taken a big gulp of it this morning or else she realised, as she quickly estimated, that it would slowly start wearing off soon.

Harry finally found himself facing the massive tree that instantly began to sway violently towards him in threat. Harry pulled out his wand and, with a shout, immobilised the willow fully with sheer anger driven force and panic.

He was sick of having things in between him and the things he loved. He was sick of having to lose and be afraid of endangering everyone he cared about and got close to.

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><p>He walked through the entrance of the shrieking shack. The walls were as dusty as ever and the floors groaned in despair when he stepped across the floors and up the stairs. Harry heard distant calls of his name back outside but turned a deaf ear to them. Instead, he focused on keeping his insides calm as he rounded the corner and stood behind the door of the room in which he had last seen Snape.<p>

He felt a faint tingling start up from his chest as his head began to remember a familiar pounding that began to distantly fall in rhythm of his frantic heartbeat. He slowly began to become more aware of every muscle in his body protesting after his hard sprint on his way down to this place.

_The potion was beginning to wear off._

Harry made a quick mental note to go straight back to the kitchens for some more after he was done here. He knew he hadn't much time left before his mind and body was taken over again by pain. He hated to admit that he very probably wouldn't be able to move Snape from this place if he wasted any more time and allowed the potion to completely wear off.

He took one last breath, yelling at himself in his head to stop being a coward. He plunged himself into the room, the door closing behind.

The room looked just the way they had left it… except without the person he was looking for.

Snape was gone.

Harry looked straight to the place that Snape had last lay… where he had begged Harry to take his memories and ordered him to look at him one last time. Only thick pools of his blood remained covered on the ground and dried up on the wall. The stench of it reached Harry as he stared, disbelieving. The adrenalin began to replace itself with dread and shock that sickened him.

He had been too late. The death eaters had reached Snape before him.

He was gone.

Harry's world began to tilt rapidly as the pain in his body returned in full, severe swings with his disappointment. He fell onto his knees, not wanting to get back up anymore. He tried to pull himself away of what was there in front of him. He didn't know what to do.

"no… no…," was all that whispered out of Harry's lips as he doubled over in pain that crashed over him again… catching up to him all at once… As if punishing him for trying to avoid it.

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><p>Ron and Hermione rushed up the stairs. They slowed as they neared the closed door to where they knew Harry had gone through. They stopped in their tracks, straining their ears to try hear if any sounds came from the room. Only silence.<p>

Ron made to open the door when Hermione stopped him by catching his outstretched arm.

He looked at her in surprise and saw her face. She looked completely mortified. He immediately drew back his hand and placed them on top of her shoulders.

"Hermione? What is it," he asked softly, worried.

Hermione was tense, her lips were dry as she tried to swallow in order to answer. She couldn't do it.

"You don't want to see…?" Ron asked again, understanding.

Hermione nodded. Her eyes filled up with sudden tears as she drew in a sharp breath. She didn't think she could handle seeing their old professor again. Not like this. She didn't want to see his body so long into death… She knew the image would haunt her forever.

Ron understood. He felt the same way but knew Harry would be in there needing their help more than ever. He gently brushed his palms up and down the length of her arms trying to comfort her.

"Hey," he whispered. "I'm here for you. I won't let anything hurt you again… ever. Just keep your eyes on me if you don't want to see… Look at me, that's it... It's going to be ok."

Their eyes locked with one another's as he wiped the tear that slid down the side of her cheek with a light stroke of the back of his fingers. Ron was relieved when he felt her relax a little.

They both jumped at the sudden loud thump from behind the door.

"_Harry!"_

They ran inside, forgetting about their fears of what they had expected to see of Snape. They pushed into the room and found themselves looking at Harry… alone. He was down on the ground, leaning forward to the place where Snape was meant to be.

Hermione gasped, slightly ashamed at herself for feeling relief flood through her when she saw that the corpse, that she had been so dreading to see before, was absent.

She and Ron immediately leaned down next to Harry.

"No.. no…"

He didn't know how much more he could take_… How much longer did this have to last? He had done everything he could, fought to his death… He kept going for what he was expected to do from the time his parents had been snatched away from him… How much longer did he have to go through with things like this… When would it end for him._

Harry didn't fight against the images that flooded in his head… He couldn't muster the effort and strength to push them away anymore. Instead, he let them engulf him, defeated. He found himself seeing Snape die all over again. He saw as this memory played itself, flashing vividly before his eyes, over and over again… He instinctively wanted to close his eyes but knew that it would be no use in blocking anything out. This was his punishment. Memories had always been his punishment… and there had never been a way out without any struggle.

The images of Snape slowly began to fade. Harry was desperate. He needed to tell him that he didn't mean to leave him this way… He tried to call out but couldn't find his voice. He could only just stare helplessly back at the man he owed so much. Snape was leaving him behind, facing a blood-washed wall… Leaving him with only guilt to feed on.

Harry wanted so much to do something for him. He wanted to honour him in what he had done and yet he couldn't even give him a proper burial… because he hadn't even been able to retrieve his body.

…It was what happened with Sirius all over again.

"n-no… no"

He didn't know what to do. It was his fault… This whole thing… _Everything_.

He didn't know how he was ever going to get rid of the guilt that exploded in him. Harry lifted his hands and saw it covered in dirt and the drying blood.

Hermione watched him nervously. She knew for a fact that this was not doing Harry any good and that the faster they got out, the better. This place was much too full of memories.

This place was where they had found out who Peter Pettigrew really was. This place was where Harry first met his godfather… and also a place where Lupin had used as a refuge.

And now, the place was where Snape had breathed his last.

She looked back at Harry's face to find that two perfect trails of tears now flowed down his cheeks. His eyes just gazed unblinkingly at the wall opposite him - The exact place where Nagini had killed Snape.

She was shocked to see his tears continuously flowing, dropping wet patches on the dusty floor. Harry didn't roughly wipe it off with his arm, like he always did, nor did he look away from her in attempt to hide his sadness. Harry _never_ cried if he could help it.

She took his arm and pulled him up to his feet. Ron followed suit. She knew the potion would have definitely worn off by now and was surprised Harry hadn't shown much pain. But then again, this was Harry.

"Let's go," she whispered to Ron. He nodded.

Harry leaned against the wall for support. The pain was much too hard to hide any longer. He wanted to get out of here as much as Hermione insisted on doing it but his world kept spinning. He felt Hermione try support him but was unable to stop him from sliding back down against the wall. He tried to breathe normally.

It hurt. It really hurt bad.

He began to regret how much breakfast he had eaten that morning. His insides kept pushing its contents up to his throat which he kept swallowing against. He couldn't move without hurting a part in his body.

""Hermihh.. neehhh…"Harry managed to breathe out.

"Ron you've got to help me support him."

"N..nohh Hermione" Harry protested weakly. He didn't want to move. He didn't think he _could_. It hurt much too much to even breathe.

Hermione misunderstood this.

"Harry you HAVE to let us take you to Hospital Wing. Please you absolutely have _got_ to go."

"Nohh Hermihh.. wait.."

"Ron, please help him up. We _need_ to get out of here. Ron_ please_."

Harry's eyes snapped shut as he let out a moan of desperation. Sweat ran down his forehead. He felt far away from the cold hand that gently pushed his head back into a someone's shoulder behind him. Harry forgot about being strong. There was a strain in his chest. It felt as though it was being torn from the inside when it slightly expanded as he took in his quick breaths.

Harry stopped breathing altogether to lessen the pain. He vaguely recognised Ron in front of him as he debated on how he should take in his next breath in order for it to be less excruciating than the last.

Ron panicked as he saw Harry stopping himself in taking in his next breath. His friend's face was contorted in pain and he began to pale disturbingly.

"Harry! Harry, just concentrate on breathing, ok? I know it hurts but you've got to keep breathing."

At this, Harry let in a struggled breath but immediately forced it back out with a pained rasp. He then began to pant. Air went in and out of his chest in shallow and rapid panic. He began to see the edges of his vision blur. It felt a bit like when he nearly drowned in the lake from his second task in the Tri-wizard Tournament. He gasped and coughed for air and his chest was on fire.

"Ron what do we do!" Hermione asked frantically.

Ron looked around for help._ Anything_ at all. They couldn't move Harry anywhere at this stage. Harry's breathing hitched faster and more desperate as he suddenly turned his face to the side on Hermione's shoulder and tried to say something through his ragged breaths.

"I- I'hhm- going t-be -" Harry couldn't finish his sentence as he bent over, away from Hermione and vomited everything he ate that morning. Hermione looked as though she was going to go hysterical with shock and worry as she desperately rubbed Harry's back.

Ron held Harry. He knew that this was it. Harry's walls were finally breaking from too much… too much everything. He cursed himself for not making Harry go to Hospital wing the other day when he showed more than just a few signs of needing medical care.

Harry emptied his stomach again. After a while he began to dry heave with nothing else left in his stomach. Ron vanished the mess as Hermione conjured a tissue and handed it to Harry who wiped his mouth.

Harry moaned and struggled. Wanting to desperately silence himself, he covered both his hands over his mouth and face. Ron saw this. He turned Harry around and pulled him close. He let him bury his head in his shoulder once again. Harry needed to be taken care of. It was his turn to be protected… his turn to let others save him.

Harry continued trying to regain control but the pain wouldn't stop. He didn't push Ron away. He wanted to hide his face away from his friends. Why couldn't Voldemort just kill him? Why did he have to live through more pain? He had done what he was meant to do… what he was expected to do.

Harry was shaking. He kept his eyes open to stay awake against his living hell.

"Harry, listen to me and try stay awake ok? We are going to find a way to get some help. Keep breathing alright? You can hear me right Harry? " Ron said.

Harry gave a struggled nod while he tried to assemble himself. It was so hard to concentrate on anything else but keeping the black spots away from his head. He couldn't help his breaths coming in irregular hiccups. He was glad to have his face hidden in Ron's shoulder. He was more comfortable that way, without showing what he couldn't control anymore. His thoughts were suddenly overtaken by a sudden sleepiness he felt.

He needed to breathe. He needed to breathe.

He brought his hand, that wasn't on the floor supporting himself, up to Ron's sleeve and grabbed onto it as he took in a long, slow breath. The pain blinded him of all other thought. Harry tightened his grip on Ron's sleeve and kept going until his head felt a little clearer.

Ron didn't know what to do. He stayed still while Harry took in his long breath. He thought his sleeve would tear off or stay creased in the shape of what Harry's fist made of it forever. But he didn't care.

"Good, Harry. That's it keep breathing, mate."

Harry reached the end of his lungs. His eyes poured hot tears that pooled up and wet Ron's shirt. He would have to buy him another one.

He slowly tried to breathe the air back out when instead, it came out as a loud, shaky sob.

Ron froze.

He wished he could share some of Harry's pain so that he didn't have to take it by himself all at once. It always had to be him. He knew he used to be jealous about this many times.. but now he knew that being Harry was no fun. Hermione was walking around, frantic.

Harry began to let out raspy cries with pain and sadness. He had no choice but to just let all go. It was all that was left to do.

Ron put him arm around Harry's back gently as he rubbed it gently. He figured from what he could hear, Harry didn't even know how to cry properly from all the years of trying to hide it from everybody.

With habit, Harry began to hold the air in his lungs as the lump in his throat swelled. He cried silently into the wet shoulder of Ron. His chest screamed in protest against the new pressure of his cries.

After a few minutes, Ron heard Harry draw in another long breath, exhausted from everything. He sagged on Ron as he began to lose grip of his consciousness.

"Harry? Harry, you've got to stay awake," Hermione tried to remind him.

Harry either didn't hear this or ignored it out of his utter exhaustion. He lost his grip on Ron's sleeve and his hand dropped to his side with a thump. Ron was holding most of his weight now. His hand on Harry's back was the only thing that seemed to keep him upright.

"Ron, don't lose him. I'm going up to the castle. It's the only way we'll get help."

"Hermione, the people are probably all gone from the hospital wing by now. I heard the medicals needed to restock and get the injured to St.-"

"I'll try get anyone! Just don't let him… Keep him awake," said Hermione as she made to run out the door when she stopped abruptly.

Three figures had blocked her way out between the door.

"Well isn't this just the perfect gathering... Our lucky day is it? Just the very three people we most needed alone….. Now you did seem a little upset, Potter. Are you joining us in mourning our Dark Lord's death? Funny thing is, it was kind of your fault… wasn't it? "


	8. Chapter 8

**I know the updates are getting very slow but I will make sure I do my best in trying to get them up more often!**

**Wishing you some crazy happy reading time ...**

Chapter 8

Ron looked up to see three figures standing at the door, all wearing dark cloaks and masks. The sky was beginning to darken and so was the room. Hermione backed away down to Ron who was desperately trying to hide Harry from their view.

"Can't you lot ever give him a break?" Ron shouted, furiously. "You've been giving him hell since he was _born_! Just leave him alone!"

"Ahh I see. Potter is upset that we took away his beloved teacher. Do you miss him? Did you love him and admire him once you found out he was a filthy traitor, Potter? Well funny that you forgot him for a few days after you used him up. You didn't need him anymore did you? No. But not to worry. His nice death eater friends at least remembered him and took care of him."

Harry couldn't see them. He was unable to lift himself back up from Ron who had his arms hovering protectively around him. He tried to ignore the incredulous pain. Death eaters in the shrieking shack? He needed to get them all out somehow. Now.

Harry forced a few deep breaths through his lungs in attempt to steady the fuzziness of his head. Bad idea. Harry braced himself as he coughed hard. The death eater's words reached his ears. He held against Ron. He really couldn't let this happen. Why now! He couldn't control his coughs that shook through his body and brought up something in his throat again. Harry tried to desperately hold it back. He didn't want to throw up in front of the death eaters.

He heard Hermione throw a curse at the chatty death eater. He blocked it off in rage and flung her wand out her hand.

Ron watched helplessly as he saw Hermione being grabbed by her hair with a death eater's wand pressed to her throat. He held Harry as he continued to cough and gasp for breath. He really hated death eaters and their timing. Harry was tense against his grip again and tremors went through his body so hard that it also affected Ron.

Suddenly he felt hands groping his shoulders roughly and separating him from Harry. His wand was taken out of his back pockets before he could do anything and he began struggling against the tight hold.

"NO! I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE! HE'S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH ALREADY!"

Ron bellowed at them furiously as they dragged him away.

Harry felt his hold on Ron slip. He lost his ground and fell against the wall. He also lost his cover. He peeked through his eyes that were hazed over with the pain. He could barely make out the blurred forms of the three men, two of them holding his two best friends. The pains in his body came in huge waves that engulfed him. He did all he could to keep himself from blacking out. He held against the wall and tried to stay upright as he kept his breath shallow to prevent from coughing again.

"Now, Potter. You shall pay for ruining our lives. Now that the dark Lord has gone it is no longer a need for us to keep you alive for anyone anymore. We may have been treated as servants to him but we still had the wizarding world in our hands to control and the muggles at our feet to crush. They feared us and obeyed… But now… - You destroyed everything! You destroyed our power and now we have to be on the run because of you. Well we won't be doing that you see. We will be taking our revenge first" the death eater gave a small smile as he took Hermione's wand and pointed at Harry.

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><p>"NO!" Hermione shouted at him. She tried everything she could against the death eater's hold.<p>

"Shhh, sweet. Your turn will come soon enough now. Hush while we give Potter what he deserves," swooned the death eater behind her. He pressed his wand harder against her throat.

"Leave him alone. Please. You can't – he- You can't, please!" Hermione begged.

"Silencio," said the death eater facing Harry as he pointed his wand in Hermione's direction, not even looking back. Hermione went silent. Her mouth forming shocked and angry words that could not heard.

Ron was thinking furiously. He need to get help. But HOW?-

"Now… what shall we start with Potter? Bet you've had enough of torture curses, haven't you? I bet it gets a bit boring for you huh? Well since you have always been such a nobleman, why don't I grant you a bit of fun before you leave this world for good? I am a nice person after all…

Tell you what… We can bloody well use Weasley here! He's your best mate inn'he? Let's show him the thing he never understood. He's never had the cruciatus curse done on him has he? He doesn't know, every time you met our Dark Lord…. He only pretends to care but doesn't ever understand what you've been through.. no…. Well why don't we show him, Harry? Let's show him Harry. Show him what a hard time you've been having. Let him know what it feels like, wouldn't you like that? Lets show him what you've been through!"

Harry felt panic rise inside him like wild fire. He needed to do something. He couldn't let him do that to Ron. He couldn't let him torture Ron! He looked up at the blurry form in panic but before he could do anything He noticed as the hooded figure pointed his wand directly at Harry and shouted, "Imperio!"

Harry felt a rather familiar calmness. His pains were suddenly forgotten. He felt oddly elated. Suddenly a voice echoed in his thoughts,

'Cast the torture curse on Weasley.'

_What? _Harry thought back through the fog.

'_Cast_ the _cruciatus curse_ on Weasley.' it repeated, more insistently.

Harry knew what this was. He had been under this very spell a few times in his fourth year. In fact, he had it done on him so many times that he had learnt how to master it. He knew he could overthrow it.

He began to push himself back into control. He ignored the false sense of the foggy calmness that blocked his view of reality. As soon as he began to focus back in his surroundings, the pain in his body attacked him once again. It felt as though every nerve in his body flared up by the sudden remembrance of them.

The death eater knew he wouldn't be able to throw the curse off easily with his current state. The boy barely looked half conscious. There was no way. He felt the boy struggle against his curse and try force himself to push off his control over him. His own lips formed an evil grin. He knew this was his chance to discipline the boy and show him what happened to people who tried to ruined his life. And he knew just what might do it.

"_Ligilimens_!" he shouted. He flicked through Potter's memories and immediately began to focus on the ones that tugged at his guilt and pain. He made Potter see, as he saw, the idiots that lost their lives for him. It was amusing for him to see how these useless deaths were to affecting him so much. He made sure to focus on them one by one. _The snow-white bird that fell from the sky downward; a ginger-headed boy with one side of his head soaked in blood; an elf dead in his arms; Dumbledore dead; a pink haired woman and the filthy werewolf in human form side by side, looking up with blank eyes; a body being moved in the rain; Snape laying on the ground the very room where they were standing in… the corner of his mouth trickling with blood… his black eyes staring at him intently with blood darkening his black robes- _

"No! P-Please! NO! Stop! _STOP_!" Harry began to cough wildly as he panicked. He didn't want to see anymore. He couldn't. He panted painfully and let out a mangled cry.

Hermione was working frantically on losing the death eater's hold behind her. She tried to scream out to Harry. But no sound came out. It was as if someone had plucked the voice out of her. Ron was struggling next to her. He let out senseless shouts that no one paid any attention to.

They saw as Harry screamed out. He slid down lower on the wall with the effort as his body tensed, his hands gripping blindly around for leverage.

"You want it to end, Potter! Then _do_ as I say! OBEY WHAT YOUR MASTER COMANDS YOU! IMPERIO!"

'_Do it_! _Curse him_!' The voice suddenly shrieked in his head.

Harry couldn't think in the sudden switch of spell. His body was under magical pressure as he felt his hand automatically dig out his wand in his pocket. His arm immediately shot up, directing itself at Ron without his permission.

_No! I don't want- Stop! I DON'T! _Harry's hand shook from the contraversery. He felt his lips trying to form the unforgivable words. He tensed every muscle in his body and desperately focussed every inch of his body on bringing is wand back down and away from its aim.

'_DO IT! NOW!'_

Harry said the words of the curse as he, with all his might and strength, forced his arm jerk itself anywhere apart from where Ron struggled in the arms of the other death eater. He shouted in agony as magic pulsed through him, leaving him breathless and numb with exhaustion. As the curse ended itself, his lungs gave in to another round of difficult coughs. He gasped wildly for air. His eyes screwed up with utter pain that effort brought him. His whole body felt cold and shivery with sweat covering every inch of it.

"NO! LEAVE HIM ALONE! STOP IT!" Ron's screams filled the room. Hermione had gone deathly pale as she silently began to sob desperately in silence.

Harry's wand was immediately flown away from his hands immediately before he could stop it. The other death eaters were now pointing their wands at Harry, their other arms around Hermione and Rons'necks.

"Now now Potter. If you turn away my treat like this I have no choice but to make the process faster you know…" He stood back up and towered over Harry's form, panting on the ground.

"Lhh- _Leave_… Lhh-let them gohhh, plhh hhease… _phhlease_!" Harry gasped.

He tried to stand up but couldn't. _This is just perfect_, he thought to himself sarcastically.

"You know what, Potter? I have another idea. I want to challenge you to duel me before you die. It seems like you'd prefer it this way. We'll make a deal. If I win, you watch your friends die before you do… If you win… well… I'll kill you first so you don't have to see them die! Deal?"

"_No_" Harry said, his eyes glaring up at him. He was leaned over with the wall supporting his side. His arm now tightly wound across himself.

"What was that, Harry? Are you _protesting_? You don't like the game?"

"If Ihh hh- _win_, Ihh… youhh _let them_ –gohh!"

The death eater laughed hysterically at this before he said, "Potter, you seriously think I'll agree with that?"

"Lehht them go," Harry repeated. He gave a great big swallow and said, "th- then you can torture me… all you want. Youhh arghh… I'hhll… l-let you do what you want me t-to dhho without… complaining." Harry's throat caught in the last word as he began to cough again.

The death eater looked thoughtful as he watched him. Then he gave a wide grin as he said,

"Well when you say it like that…. Let's duel," he said.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed!<strong>

**C'mon…. you know I want you to review…**


	9. Chapter 9

**I own nothing! And I am sorry! Please enjoy**

* * *

><p>Chapter 10<p>

Harry leaned on the wall again and forced his limbs to support him as he got up to his feet. He pushed his pain away as best as he could. He needed to get Hermione and Ron out of here and it was up to him to do so. He couldn't leave the Weasleys with another dead son or let Hermione's parents forget her forever.

He heard a dull clatter on the ground as his wand was thrown back to him.

"Let go of them now. I'll duel you alone. Just let them go."

_Ignore the pain,_ he told himself.

_Think of Ron and Hermione. They've been through so much. The pain is nothing compared to what they did…_

"Fine… Potter. I, in fact, am not afraid to fight you like everyone else is." The death eater turned his head slightly and shouted to the other two, " Release them! But don't give them their wands. They need to learn how to sit quietly and wait in silence."

Hermione was thrown to the wall at Harry's side shortly followed by Ron. They immediately reached out to Harry. Ropes were immediately formed around their wrists and bound them magically to the wall.

"ARRGH! You bastards!" Ron yelled.

"SHUT UP YOU BLOOD-TRAITOR OR I'LL BURN OFF YOUR TONGUE!" The death eater that had held him captive screamed.

"I hope you remember the lesson the Dark Lord taught you about duelling in your fourth year, Harry. Remember? … First, we _bow,_" the death eater sneered.

But before he saw if Harry followed his instructions or not, he instead threw his wand up and sent Harry crashing into the opposite wall.

Hermione positively tried to rip her arms off of the magical ropes. It was no use. Instead, she sank to the ground and cried into Ron, her shoulders shaking.

Ron watched in horror as Harry lay, hugging his stomach as though it would fall out if he didn't hold onto it tight enough. He gave out loud cries that clashed horrifically with his gasps of utter pain. He knew Harry couldn't do this. It was impossible to even manage to stand in his state. Ron saw, as he felt his blood running out from his face, as Harry's eyes dropped closed for a moment as though he were asleep in his pain.

"Come on, Potter. Don't tell me that is all you can do! You defeated the most feared wizard of all time! Fight me! Fight me properly or your friends will die!"

_Come on, ignore the stupid pain. Ron and Hermione! Focus!_

Harry's eyes snapped open again. He kept one hand firmly around his waist. He rapidly went over on the floor and snatched his fallen wand on the ground. He stood as he pointed the wand to his opponent. His face now determined.

"Good, Potter. That's good."

"Expelliarmus!" Harry shouted but the death eater blocked it. He had expected this.

"Think the same spell would work on me, Harry? Thought it might just kill me too?"

"Reducto!"

"Crucio!"

"Harry!"

The spell hit both. Harry fell on his knees in pain and the death eater was shot down on his back.

The old floors creaked from the force from each side.

"Harry stop duelling him. You don't need to do this, just stop!"

Harry heard Ron shouting at him.

The death eater sat up and raised his wand again straight at Harry with a lopsided smirk spreading on his face.

"Now we've got something going, haven't we Potter?"

Harry's head swam through all the pain while he frantically searched for curses that could be used to bring them out of this impossible situation. He felt stupid for putting himself in this situation. It's what happened every single time. He made himself look all heroic without wanting to and became the source of the problem without meaning to.

He swore to himself and the worsening pains. Harry was losing his awareness around him. Ron calling his name from somewhere distant. There were flashes of light above him between blurry figures.

_No! No this is not good. Have to stay awake comeon._

"Oh Potter.. you down already? Wanna give up the extra work so I can finish up with your friends now?"

Harry groaned in frustration. He lifted his wand and yelled,

"Crucio!" with as much force as he could muster.

He missed the death eater by and inch. He was about to aim again when there was a deafening crack.

Ron looked up just as the walls began to shake and lose their hold as a massive wave of sand and dust began to fall their surroundings. Not a moment later, with a deafening creak from above, the whole ceiling broke loose and crashed down on them below.

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><p><strong>I have to admitt I had lost a bit of inspiration with this one... for a while.<strong>

**Perhaps if you guys would give me a few tips of what you want in future chapters in your next comments? It would sure help and give me inspiration.**

**Am I going too overboard with all the attention on Harry? Do you like it that way?**

**Do you want him more hurt? or are you getting sick of it? so on :)**

**Thanks guys - Hope I haven't lost your support due to my long time of silence :(**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 let's go!**

Chapter 10

"Bloody hell, that hurts" Harry rasped.

He couldn't figure what was happening around him. Everything was foggy to the point that it made him feel rather claustrophobic. He was somehow lying on his side in a fetal position, clutching himself as though trying to close up an open wound.

"Harry!" Ron shouted as he and Hermione struggled in their ropes. It was Merlin's mercy that nothing had hit them. There was no sign of any death eaters… Ron looked around.

"Hermione… Hermione? HERMIONE!"Ron frantically turned round when he heard no answer and saw Hermione giving him a look of exasperation.

" Oh.. right… you can't talk sorry. Bloody death eaters. How am I going to fix you without my wand?"

Hermione gave a small sigh. She nodded her head towards a short, coarse stick not far from Ron's reach.

Ron reached for it immediately.

"R-Ron!"Harry barely managed. He found himself unable to move. His head felt heavy, sluggish and unfocused. His eyes were rolling back without his permission. He had to find Ron and Hermione. What had happened to the death eaters? Did they disapparate? Were they killed?

Suddenly from out of nowhere, he heard Ron.

"Hermione… Hermione? HERMIONE!"

Harry felt his panic rise up to his throat. What had happened? Was Hermione hurt?

He heard grunts and sudden footsteps.

"Ron?"

There was a sudden flurry of struggle. Harry heard someone shouting in pain and then felt someone immediately grabbing is arm. Harry squinted against the hard grip. But before he could get a proper view in who his captor was, he felt a familiar but an undesirable pull. His lungs were constricting in pain as he was forced into the unknown pressure.

Ron's hand was trudged beneath a foot of a death eater who's face was invisible in the thick, smokey air that was filled with dust and remains of the earthy ceiling coming from the roots of the whomping willow above.

Ron shouted in pain as the foot grinded into his little finger.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to touch other people's belongings?" the death eater snarled. He immediately grabbed the wand and flicked it at Ron, throwing him back with Hermione. He grabbed their ropes and turned on the spot.

Ron and Hermione were forced into the pull of their own, not knowing their destination.

Ron felt himself being thrown onto bumpy, wet grounds. He was immediately tied magically back onto a stone wall. Everything was dark. His eyes wouldn't adjust to it fast enough which made him blink more rapidly hoping it would help. He felt for Hermione's hand next to him, who was shivering slightly. She squeezed against his firm grip to assure him that she was ok. Ron listened intently for any sign of movement. He heard a painful breathing nearby, a whish of a silent spell and a thump of a body near his feet. There was a groan of pain and ragged gasps.

Ron took a deep breath and shouted,

"Show yourself! Where are you and what do you want!"

There was a slight chuckle.

"Lumos" and there was a faint light held up to the gaunt face of the death eater. He was smirking as if all this were a rather amusing act of play.

"You better behave yourself, Weasley. Or all of you will wish you never survived that war in Hogwarts. Keep silent. We'll be back for you in the morning. And don't be stupid and try get out. It will be impossible no lies. Nighty night."

With that there was a crack… and two other loud cracks that followed suit.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US! YOU CAN'T KEEP US TIED UP HERE! GIVE US BACK OUR WANDS!"

Ron's voice echoed through the walls many times, making a loud racket. He felt Hermione's hand shaking his shoulder. She was obviously telling him to be quiet.

Ron shut up and listened again. Nothing happened. He swore loudy and after a moment of listening to himself repeat the same word over and over again through what sounded like a long, tunnel-like cave, he remembered Harry.

"Harry!"

He didn't hear a response. This was worrying. He felt Hermione silently tap his arm again.

He heard a loud series of coughs and uneven breathing that followed. He hated this. Why couldn't the bastards have give them a bit of light to at least be able to see where they were. Ron leaned over as much as he could and felt around for his mate.

"Harry! Are you ok?" Ron tried to gently shake the form beside him trying not to panic. He stayed silent to wait for his answer. He felt around, pulling Hermione along in his ropes and found someone there, curled in a tight ball.

"Harry, Harry.. You are Harry… right? Harry-"

He eventually found the person's shoulders and pulled him gently toward himself. Whoever it was was shaking and he felt too warm.

Hermione blindly helped Ron pull the figure up, enabling him to lean back on the wall.

"R-Ron..?"

He heard Hermione sigh in relief. Harry's body was limp as he sagged in their arms. He coughed softly and gave a loud cry of pain in his throat against the torture that his stressed breathing was causing. Ron felt his body covered in cold sweat.

"Hermione what do we do?" he asked desperately.

He was, of course, answered in silence. Ron had never felt more alone and suddenly responsible for so much just for being able to talk. Why couldn't the death eater have silenced him instead? Then at least Hermione could be telling him what to do!

He now seemed to be the only one capable of somehow getting them all out of here. Harry's sounds of discomfort heightened his anxiety. Would the death eater's really not be back until dawn? Would they leave Harry to die in this state?

'Well…' (Ron thought in hatred) 'they didn't exactly have the reason to keep harry alive now that Voldemort was dead.'

He felt Harry give a small shudder next to him.

"Harry. Where does it hurt. What did they do to you. What can I do to help. Damnit I can't _see_ anything! Just uh- stay in focus ok? You can't lose it now, Harry. Harry. Harry listen to me. Answer me if you can Harry just stay awake!" all this came out as a frightened panic of words. His voice rang out in the cave and most of it was engulfed in its echoes. Ron felt so desperate.

Hermione grabbed Ron's hand and wrote with her forefinger on his palm,

_Let me go, on, other side._

" Ok" Ron said shakily after a moment of concentrating on the feel of her finger.

He and tried to touch Harry the least as possible from his position to help Hermione change sides without tangling their connected ropes. Harry gave tiny breaths laboured groans, sounding as if he was struggling with an extremely heavy baggage which he had to lift with his two bare hands.

"Hold on a second, Harry. Hermione's coming. She'll know what to do."

After a long while of careful exchange, Hermione and Ron were on either side of Harry, supporting him. They still couldn't see anything, but the cave echoed out Harry's uneven breathing even louder. It seemed to get worse by the hour. The worst part was, they couldn't do anything about it but listen to his struggle.

Ron could hear Hermione desperately rustling on the other side. However, whatever she was doing was not working. It was going to be a long night. Ron felt Harry shivering next to him and tried to lean in to give him some of his bodywarmth. Cough fits resulted shortly after one another, making Ron's heart clench as he couldn't help but wince at the unending echoes making it seem even worse. He stayed still, thinking of how much it hurt Harry when he had tried to help him up just that morning in the courtyard. He heard Hermione's fidgets get more agitated as time passed.

It was going to be a long night.

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><p><strong>Ok. I have to be honest and say that I really don't feel much motivation with this story anymore. Was a little disappointed with the last chapter actually. I'll see how this chapter goes with people and decide if I should really carry on. Perhaps I'll write it later on when there's lots more time and when I actually feel more into it. At this rate I don't even think I'll be able to make it into a good story til the end..<strong>


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